T-5 to Thanksgiving: A Love Letter to Your Beautifully Imperfect Holiday

Whether your Thanksgiving plans are Martha-Stewart-hostess-with-the-mostess, or you’re sprinting away from your family like the turkey saw the cleaver, or your holiday is shaping up to be a lukewarm mashed-potato situation where the only beings behaving themselves are the pumpkin decorations on your lawn… pull up a chair. Let Auntie Snarky Alexandra pour a glass and tell you the truth.

This year has shifted. Families change. People change.

The ones you adore might be far away, busy, distracted, or just not showing up in the way your Hallmark-infested brain decided they “should.”

It does not mean they love you less.

Humans are messy, dramatic little creatures fighting invisible battles, and Thanksgiving is the annual Olympic sport of expecting perfection from the very people closest to us that we know are constitutionally incapable of delivering it.

So give grace.

Especially to the ones you hold to the highest standard—because those are usually the ones winging it the hardest.

And your Thanksgiving? It’s allowed to be imperfect. It’s allowed to be unconventional. It’s allowed to be yours, not the Pinterest version you think is required to keep society functioning.

Embrace it. It’s allowed to be yours. No one else’s.

Now, since I’m apparently the designated adult in your life, let’s talk T-minus countdown.

Ina would nod serenely.

Martha would judge quietly.

Nigella would whisper something sensual about butter.

And I—your long-suffering friend and favorite chaos conductor, will guide you.

Sunday (T-4): Grocery Hunger Games

Listen: you should go grocery shopping today. Right now. Today is your best shot at getting everything you need before the store starts to look like it was ransacked by a flock of panicked suburban parents.

By this point you should already have your turkey. If you don’t, don’t panic—just know you’re entering the Thawing Danger Zone and may have to defrost that bird in ways the FDA does not emotionally support.

Monday (T-3): The Overachiever Window

If you insist on waiting until Monday to shop, fine. You do get one perk: beating everyone who has a real job and can’t shop until 5 p.m. Enjoy the empty aisles while you can.

This is also a great day to clean your house. It’s the only day you’ll have the energy to lie to people about how you live.

Tuesday (T-2): Last-Minute Scramble

Tuesday is for “anything you forgot you needed” shopping.

Double-check your list. Triple-check if your family is messy. Confirm whether Aunt Beryl expects you to bring another side dish, because if she wants you to make candied yams, you need to know today, not Thursday morning when nothing is open, while you’re still in your robe whispering threats at a roasting pan.

Wednesday (T-1): Prep Like You Mean It

Chop things. Brine things. Pre-cook things. Label serving dishes like a civilized adult who has watched at least one Food Network Thanksgiving special.

Wednesday is your friend. Do not waste her.

Thursday (T-0): Showtime

Cook. Sip something joyful. Nibble. Stir. Taste. Smile politely at whoever tells you they “liked last year’s stuffing more.”

And listen carefully: Do. Not. Apologize.

If something burns, deflates, explodes, or achieves a texture not recognized by science—Julia Child said to never apologize for anything you make in the kitchen. Channel her. She would absolutely fist-bump you for committing confidently to imperfect food.

Serve it with pride. Plate it with intention. Pretend it all went exactly as planned.

That’s the secret.

Now keep reading for my Thanksgiving wine guide…

Alexandra’s Well-Worn Thanksgiving Wine Guide

(For people who deserve better than the boxed stuff… but will drink it anyway.)

If You’re Doing the Traditional Turkey

Turkey is like that one cousin who’s perfectly fine but needs the right company to shine. Pair it with wines that won’t bully it.

Best Picks:

Pinot Noir: The Thanksgiving MVP. Light, elegant, and endlessly patient—basically the opposite of your relatives. It will go with 90% of the food on your table.
Beaujolais Village or Beaujolais Nouveau: Fruity, cheerful, and ready to party. Ideal if you need a wine that forgives overcooked turkey.
American Chardonnay (Unoaked or Lightly Oaked): Smooth, warm, sometimes buttery. Great if you want approachable comfort—AKA the wine equivalent of a cable-knit blanket.

Avoid the “I taste like a lumber yard” heavily oaked ones unless you want your guests licking tree bark.

White Burgundy: The elegant choice. Yes, it’s Chardonnay—but it’s French Chardonnay with structure, minerality, better balance, and self-esteem. Perfect with turkey, gravy, herbs, and your desire to feel just a little bougie on a Thursday afternoon.
It’s the friend who shows up with a hostess gift and actually means it.
Chablis: Technically also White Burgundy, but it’s the crisp, steely, mineral-driven version.
Think: green apple, seashells, cool climate vibes.
Perfect for turkey + lighter sides, or if your Thanksgiving involves someone lecturing the table about the terroir of Yukon Gold potatoes.

If You’re Having Thanksgiving Ham

Ham is salty, sweet, and needy. Kind of like you when the wine runs out.

Best Picks:

Riesling (dry or off-dry): Its acidity + a touch of sweetness = ham harmony.
Rosé: Surprisingly perfect, because rosé doesn’t believe in limiting itself to summer like some sort of amateur. Pairs well with those sticky glazes we pretend are “heritage recipes.”

If You’re Focusing on the Veggies

Look at you, pretending to be healthy on a national holiday dedicated to butter.

Best Picks:

Sauvignon Blanc: Crisp and green—excellent for green beans, salads, or anything you only made because guilt is real.
Pinot Grigio: Clean, refreshing, unobtrusive. The Italian Switzerland of wines.
Gamay: Low tannins + bright fruit = little-known veggie whisperer.

If Your Plate Is Essentially Carbs With a Side of Carbs

Mashed potatoes, mac & cheese, stuffing… this is the real reason we celebrate.

Best Picks:

Oaked Chardonnay: All that butter-on-butter energy? A buttery wine won’t judge you.
Viognier: Slightly floral, slightly plush, very “I have depth and layers,” unlike your mashed potatoes.
Sparkling Wine (Prosecco, Cava, or Champagne): Fatty foods LOVE bubbles. Also, bubbles improve your mood. This is science.*

(*Okay, “science.” But still.)

If You’re a Dessert Person (Just Be Honest)

Pumpkin pie, pecan pie, sweet potato pie, maple pecan brownies —basically sugar wearing autumn drag.

Best Picks:

Moscato d’Asti: Sweet, fizzy, and flirty. A dessert charmer.
Port: For when your dessert is “life is hard, and I need a liquid hug.”
Late-Harvest Riesling: Like eating honey straight from a vineyard.

If You’re Hosting Complete Chaos

If your table includes turkey, ham, vegan lasagna, keto casserole, gluten-free stuffing, and a cousin who brought sushi “just in case,” then you need…

Best Overall Crowd-Pleasers:

Sparkling Wine: Works with everything (including your nerves).
Pinot Noir: Universal food pairing and universal emotional support.
Dry Rosé: Versatile, unfussy, and pink—people love pink.

PS Click here for the complete Thankgivjng Wine Guide with snazzy illustrations